Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Lessons

I've learned a few lessons these last almost 4 months since having Gavin about birth and parenting.  I feel as though I should share this knowledge with the world.
40 weeks, 5 days Hunter

41 weeks Gavin


With Hunter, we didn't take a birthing class.  We weren't very educated on labor and delivery.  We wanted so badly to meet Hunter and thought induction was a great idea when 40 weeks came and went.  Labor wasn't progressing, his heart rate dropped once, and off to the OR we went for an emergency c-section.  Not what I wanted with any of our next child!

With Gavin, we took a birthing class.  I felt we were super educated.  I made a birth plan!  I was not getting that epidural and we weren't getting induced.  Fast forward to our 41 week appointment.  I was devastated they weren't inducing me until the following week at almost 42 weeks.  I then became thankful they did not because I went into labor on my own.  I was 5 cm by the time I got to the hospital.  The contractions were so intense at my c-section scar site.  I caved, I asked for drugs (one strike against the birth plan).  When they came in to give me said drugs, the nurse said I was complete.  Couldn't get the said drugs, so got a small epidural instead (strike number 2 against birth plan).  Stopped progressing (because I wasn't really fully dilated) and ended up with a c-section.  In the birth plan, I didn't want Gavin to be away from us.  That ended up medically impossible due to complications with him (strike 3, kind of).  No formula, only being breastfed (again, he was having difficulties eating, so that ended up being strike 4).

Lesson 1: Take a birthing class and educate yourself.  Write a birth plan, but tear it up (I kid... kind of).  Know what you want and have someone there to advocate for you, but know that things don't always go as planned.  Be prepared for the possibility of a c-section.

Lesson 2: It is okay to mourn the loss of a vaginal birth.   Yes, baby is here and healthy.  That does matter.  But so do your feelings.  Don't let anyone ever make you feel like you shouldn't be sad that you ended up with a c-section.  I will tell you I still have times that I mourn the loss.

By 6 weeks old, Hunter was sleeping through the night.  We had a night time routine, lots of structure.  He was easy going and was, for the most part, a happy baby.  He made us think that we were AMAZING parents!  It was our parenting skills that made him the way he was.

Gavin, now almost 4 months old, still wakes up in the middle of the night to eat, as do most 4 month old babies.  He goes from happy to hangry in 0 seconds flat or from happy to I-need-to-sleep-right-now-but-I'm-going-to-fight-it in 0 seconds.  We have a nightly routine with him, our parenting is pretty much the same as it was with Hunter.



Lesson 3: Personality plays a big part in how your child acts.  You might be an amazing parent, but babies are babies and they are going to do what they are going to do.

Hunter was our observer (still is).  He would take everything in and didn't make a lot of noise.  Gavin is a talker!  He is observant, but he loves to babble and communicate with you.  He recognizes our voices.  Today, for example, I walked in and I was talking to Carl and Hunter, but I never came in eye sight for Gavin.  Carl finally said, "Will you come say hi to your youngest?  He is looking for you."  He can also be on the verge of being asleep, but if he hears Hunter, his eyes open and he searches for him.



Lesson 4:  Doesn't matter that they look like twins 4 years apart, each child is different.

I have always taken pride in being on time, early even, to events.  It stresses me out to be late.  With one child, once you get into the groove, it is easy to continue to be on time.  Now with two, forget being early!  Maybe it's just this baby/big diaper bag/make sure you don't forget anything or it may be the end of the world stage (I'm hoping) and soon it will get better.

Lesson 5: Your loved ones will understand if you're late when you have kids.  Try not to let it stress you out that you weren't at the play date right at 10 am.  They will forgive you.  (Do as I say, not as I do... I still stress out over not being on time).

Any words of wisdom you want to share?

*Please be aware that I feel nothing wrong with c-sections, scheduled c-sections, inductions, or formula.  I don't judge anyone for any of these.  It was just my dream ever since my c-section with Hunter to have a vaginal birth with labor started by my own body.*


1 comment:

Ashley said...

Love this Tiff!